Hallow Ramblings

“Don’t fear the man with nothing to lose; fear the man who has everything to gain”

I was somewhere in the midst of an existential crisis when I realized that I have nowhere left to run. I am sitting in an awkward state; half proper and half lazy, much like my views and attitude towards life in general. I wish I knew the words to properly describe the pains and agony I suffer however yet maybe it isn’t the right climate to dwell on such things. As I look back on things I realize I may not have always been a good person however I have always remained genuine. A good person is always subjective though, isn’t it? Good and evil always meant nothing to me; mere child’s fantasies in a grown man’s world. There are no gods or kings, only men. And their respect is everything. Respect can transform a bum off the streets to the king of an entire country if the right cards were played. And sometimes the starting hand can mean the difference between your final victory or total defeat. Sometimes, not all the time. I sometimes wish people weren’t so quick to judge however in a period where quick judgment can save lives I’m not too inclined to be hopeful for something that would never come to be. Hope is such a powerful tool. Having hope was a beacon in my darkest times, albeit sometimes it blinded me from the realties I faced at the time as well. I wish however that maybe one day I can see things I could not today, and reap the hidden bounty. Until then, I’m wandering aimlessly in the abyss, clutching hold of anything to drag me out of this ungodly rut.

Stressful Hope

There are some days I don’t feel like living through, for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s stress, sometimes it’s boredom, and even at times dread. I always find a way to mush through it through, as I almost always have hope. Even in my darkest days I would use what little energy I had, yearning for the next day, as my struggles would often overwhelm my passion for today. And it is with this stated I am excited and hopeful for the days to come in my life, as I feel this current shroud of darkness is coming to a close and a beam a light will surely break through at any moment.

Scares, Concerns, & Hope

Two days ago I had the scare of my life. I recently adopted a cat from Foreacre Fosters; a BEAutiful grey striped tabby named Charisma, and love her dearly. She’s my emotional support animal, and she loves her job. I went out into the street the other day and saw this:

I literally thought that was my cat, and panicked a little; checking my cameras to see if she got out, asking my roommate if he seen her, throwing furniture around checking for her, the works. I was crying calling out for her name and was in denial about that being my cat dead out in the street. And I just heard a trill, looked forward, and saw her in my dresser. I fell down to my knees, and cried. And then I held her in my arms, crying, happy to see her alive and well. Well, as well as she could be in a grown man’s arms crying like a baby. I then called the PSPCA to see if they could help give the other one a proper burial. My roommate picked what was left of the other cat off the street and they picked her up and cremated her. I felt like this whole scare was a lesson to truly appreciate what you have, before it’s gone. As life comes and go, you never know when it would end..

Hallo, Whirled!

This is the inaugural post of the new generation of www.yusefhamed.com
The absolute last time the domain was under my rule was the initial version in 2005

Anyways, today onwards kickstarts a new wave, a blitzkrieg of sorts, of everything pertaining to me, Yusef Hamed, being wrangled back into control, and organized very neatly for your pleasure. I intend this and much more for all of those who love me, who hate me, who overall, think enough of me to type my damn name into the URL and have added a DOT COM. So, without further delay or digression, welcome, welcome to the party!!

Crank the Speakers up to Seven-Eleven

I went to my first concert ever to see my best friend Alex play with his two bands Gypsi & Tomorrow Awaits at The Champ in Harrisburg (Technically it’s in Lemoyne but it’s right across the river so for all intents and purposes it’s in Harrisburg)

I have mixed feelings about it. I for one liked the music. It’s was just the kind of metal I like: Metal enough to hear actual lyrics and not screams and grunts. What I didn’t like was the audience in the so-called mosh pit. From what I heard from my friends moshing is shoving into your co-spectators like a bunch of NFL jocks. What I witnessed, however, was a bunch of drunken Karate Kid-wannabees high on crack swinging their arms and legs like a bunch of fucktards. I had to stand in the far corner so I wouldn’t get hit. One thing about me is I have a very short temper. You look at me the wrong way and I’ll curse at you, let alone talking shit either in front of me or behind my back. And if you hit me, prepare to have a fight until the gestapo arrive. Or I’m incapacitated, either way I won’t back down until one of those two terms are met. Anyway, I was enjoying the show even though I was pissed off a great deal that those “moshers” wouldn’t just sit or stand and enjoy the show. I noticed that from Gypsi onward that was a slow but steady increase in both quality and fans cheering as the bands rotated. Obviously the guys after Gypsi and Tomorrow Awaits were a bit more weathered and experienced which earned them more roadies to cheer them on. Furthermore, some of those roadies were making fun of the two bands, which was both uncalled for and pissing me off. I swear there might have been a fight or two in The ~~Mosh~~ Blood Pit. But enough of those morons, I overall had a good time besides them. The music was brutal, some of the appearances of the spectators were more so, and I had a bloody good time.

Cheers,

Ronzil