“Don’t fear the man with nothing to lose; fear the man who has everything to gain”
I was somewhere in the midst of an existential crisis when I realized that I have nowhere left to run. I am sitting in an awkward state; half proper and half lazy, much like my views and attitude towards life in general. I wish I knew the words to properly describe the pains and agony I suffer however yet maybe it isn’t the right climate to dwell on such things. As I look back on things I realize I may not have always been a good person however I have always remained genuine. A good person is always subjective though, isn’t it? Good and evil always meant nothing to me; mere child’s fantasies in a grown man’s world. There are no gods or kings, only men. And their respect is everything. Respect can transform a bum off the streets to the king of an entire country if the right cards were played. And sometimes the starting hand can mean the difference between your final victory or total defeat. Sometimes, not all the time. I sometimes wish people weren’t so quick to judge however in a period where quick judgment can save lives I’m not too inclined to be hopeful for something that would never come to be. Hope is such a powerful tool. Having hope was a beacon in my darkest times, albeit sometimes it blinded me from the realties I faced at the time as well. I wish however that maybe one day I can see things I could not today, and reap the hidden bounty. Until then, I’m wandering aimlessly in the abyss, clutching hold of anything to drag me out of this ungodly rut.